Spain Reigns or Dutch Not Clutch

I returned from my vacation expecting the world to have moved on to new things only to find the FISA World Cup  not yet completed. (I refuse to use FIFA because the second F stands for football but this game is clearly soccer.)

It is now complete. Spain has won. My secret dream is to see the following press release:

Johannesburg, South Africa - Just twenty four hours after Spain's triumph over the Netherlands in the World Cup finals, Joseph Blatter, FISA's president issued a heart felt apology to the world. "I would like to formally and sincerely apologize to the world for the World Cup finals performance," Blatter said as he visibly fought back tears. "For the two best teams in the world to go 115 minutes without scoring is a travesty of wasted time the world will never recoup. If we took the 2 hours of scoreless time and multiplied it by the estimated 800 million viewers, we end up with 1.6 billion man hours spent watching nothing happening. The thought of this has caused me  to contemplate resignation and changing my identity in shame."  Blatter went on, "If this time were spent in the laboratory, we could have cured seven infectious diseases and had enough research left over to come up with five new menu items for McDonalds. The world has lost these things, and it is my fault. I am sorry and ashamed." At this admission Blatter rent the lapel of his jacket and spit on his tie after throwing it to the ground. Collecting himself he continued, "I am sorry we have kept these fine young men from using perfectly good arms. I am sorry the field is half the size of the Sahara Desert. I am sorry our players roll in agony on the field when their jersey is grazed. I am sorry for "off-sides" being a ridiculous penalty. I am sorry that everything that could lead to point production has been eliminated from our sport."

Blatter fielded questions after his statemet. He was asked if there was a silver lining to his gloom. Blatter quickly retorted, "At least the USA was eliminated early. Serves them right with that intimidating 'Ghana is a Goner' slogan." As to what the next step is Blatter said, "We have some soul searching to do. We have engaged Lebron James in talks about becoming a soccer player. We are thinking of giving teams catchy or politically correct nicknames like, the France Carbon Offsets, the Germany We Never Should Have Taken Back East Germany's, The Paraquay Chalkboards, The Denmark Secular Humanists, and The Switzerland Polanskis to name a few. We think these will stimulate fan interest." A reporter pointed out that the new names would not fix their scoring phobia. Blatter added that they were contemplating making each goal worth 100 points. He felt this would go a long way in pleasing the masses. As an act of good faith toward changes, FISA has officially entered the final game results as the Spain Population Shrinkers - 100 and the Netherelands Hey Aren't We Holland - 0. I guess it was a blow-out after all.

Lebron, we're waiting.

My brother chastises me when I have a blog entry without thoughtful spiritual content. I hate to disappoint him.....well I don't really hate it, in fact, at times I savor it. Consequently, my deeper thoughts on Spain and their win and our love affair with sports will come in a day or two.